I wanted to call my first post “Before the Beginning”. I was planning to post a piece that I had written a couple of years ago, during the worst part of my burnout, to demonstrate how far I’ve come, and to inspire you that it was possible. But then I chickened out… I won’t post it now, not yet. It’s just too dark, too depressive, and for me actually, too scary! I was so down on myself then, and so hopeless, that I just can’t have that be the first personal thing I put up here.
I promise to share it in full later, after there is enough optimism and sunshine here to balance out that dark place.
But I will share what I now believe was the worst part of it. At the time, I had nearly lost all hope that I can ever change. The term “neuroplasticity” was something I had heard of, but hadn’t applied yet, and my belief in myself and my confidence were at an all-time low. It seemed that everything that I was trying, just kept proving and reinforcing all my negative beliefs. Hopeless.
I did manage to hold on to a faint glimmer of something positive here and there, and pull myself out of that hole. I’m here to tell you that there is hope! We can all change. I did. You did in the past and you will again. It’s not easy, but it can certainly be done, and it’s bright and sunny on the other side, I promise.
PS – Here’s a more sinister story with the same message, by someone who says it much better than me: https://tim.blog/2020/01/29/the-story-of-a-curious-phone-call/
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