My husband and I had our DNA analyzed by 23andMe a few years ago. Fortunately for both of us, we didn’t receive any scary results. Every few months, though, we get updates that range from the interesting to the esoteric. My husband, for example, has a gene that makes him sneeze when he transitions from dark to light! And it’s obvious that one of our kids inherited it…
Last week, 23andMe told me in an email what I’ve known my whole life, I’m a night owl.
For someone who’s known something their entire life, I work hard to convince myself it’s actually true….
The genetic profile reinforces the chronotype quiz I took not long ago. I came out a Wolf, which is another way of saying I hate waking up in the morning.
But I know why I don’t embrace my wolfness. I feel like I am shamed twice into fighting my tendency:
1.
Society prefers early risers. Many structures such as our school system, are not built with people like me in mind. Ever since I became a parent, I’ve had to wake up way earlier than what feels comfortable for me. But worse than that, there’s a moral judgement of late risers. The early bird gets the worm, right? We are seen as lazy, and then come articles like this one, quoting research that early risers are happier and make more money. Ugh.
2.
In the entrepreneurial world – especially in the side hustle community – getting up early to work before your family wakes up has become the norm. It’s a recurring theme in Tim Ferriss’s “Tools of Titans”, which analyzes the habits of successful people. It’s also the foundation of an entire life philosophy in Hal Elrod’s “The Miracle Morning” and Robin Sharma’s “The 5 AM Club”. Hal Elrod does state that his method could be practiced at any time of day, but he is still biased toward the morning.
A year ago, I tried to practice the Miracle Morning. I got up at 5 am, meditated, exercised, journaled and did my affirmations. This quiet time early in the morning was just wonderful. I felt invigorated and motivated to take on the day! And then by 10 AM I’d crash. I’d have to take an hour-long nap (I pride myself on my ability to take short, surgical cat naps! This long a nap is almost insulting). I was destroyed for the rest of the day.
Pre-kids, I was more aligned with being a wolf. I worked really well in the afternoon and evening, and also used to get a lot of work done late at night. I’d come into work late, around 10-11am, and leave late, and that seemed acceptable for everyone.
When my kids were younger, I felt conflicted that my most creative hours were spent parenting. In fact, it made me quite resentful, and feeling that I was losing my own identity. I felt that the height of my creativity was allowing my kids to eat their dinners in the bath. Don’t criticize, there’s no laundry and no cleaning of the dining area! I didn’t stoop to washing their dishes in the bathwater, but I admit the thought had crossed my mind…
Back then, my husband and I managed this by splitting the week into alternating long and short days at work. It seemed that I got most of my weekly work done in those few afternoon hours on the long days. When I left the corporate world and started working from home, I had more flexibility, but also fewer boundaries for my productive hours. One of my main drivers in shifting careers was wanting to be more present with my kids. But the price is having to shift most of my creative work to the uncomfortable morning hours.
What seems to work now is getting up around 7 to sleepily and begrudgingly get my kids ready for school. Then after dropping them off, take a brisk walk in the park and do yoga at home. Shower. Pretend it’s waking me up. Drink something. Do the rest of my morning routine. Sit at my computer and try to work. Stare blankly at my computer, and finally decide to do something errand-y until my brain starts firing. Finally get into flow in the afternoon, shortly before my kids come back home. Hope that tomorrow I’ll somehow wake up an early bird. Repeat. 🙂
But another lockdown is under way, and the kids are returning to remote study full-time. It seems to me that there’s no choice but to get up earlier and attempt creative work (aaahhhh!!) before the rest of my family is awake.
Pray for me…
Are you also a night person who had to shift? Any tips for me?
Wow. I loved it.
I’m an early riser, but I know the wolfs.
Especially I liked the gene analysis.
Wow.. It gives you a”permission”😀.
But I believe that one can know it intuitively and trust oneself even with this and as you have wonderfully described, not be entangled by the “norms” , trying to adjust one’s life to one’s needs and predispositions with no judgements (as much as the circumstances allow).
I will recommend this post to my wolf-friends.
Thank you😍
Wolves unite!! We need to be far less judgemental as a society, especially now that it’s so clear that people can’t just change when it goes against their biology!
I can relate to SO much of this. I still sit down at my desk at 10am most days. At my last job, I liked to claim that I came in late to avoid particularly bad traffic (and I did), but it was also for the reasons that you mentioned. Cheers to a fellow wolf. I’ll be praying for patience and sanity during the next quarantine. 🙏
Thank you, Brian!! I try not to think of the excuses I’ve used… In school I’d just fall asleep at my desk, it was ridiculous.
Joining you with my prayers, too!
I vacillate between early riser and late riser because I depend on other people to help me start my day, but I do relate to the stigma of being a late riser. It’s not fair nor accurate that we’re less accomplished or successful. Thanks for highlighting this!
LOVE this. I’ve done that quiz and think I’m a bear though I don’t remember what the characteristics were. I lean toward more of a morning person but I also can be very productive and focused in the late afternoon (4-7ish) and do like to work at that time. Had no idea this could be detected through genetic testing. Very interesting. Keep on!
If you did/plan to do some genetic analysis, look for this trait in your records and let me know!